I met him on Hinge. He was hot: half Austrian, half Egyptian, age 33, grew up in Austria, the eldest of three siblings. He works for a company that transferred him to Lisbon five years ago. That’s all you really need to know. This was short lived, so I don’t know if he gets the Joe title. Maybe we call him double O three. Like 003.
I wanted to go to the restaurant Ponto Final. 003 called to make a reso, but it is closed on Tuesdays. Instead we went to the restaurant beside it called Atira-te ao Rio. Originally when 003 found out that the first restaurant was closed he followed up with several back up choices, I loved that. A man who takes control!
I met him by the ferry around 7:15pm. We slowly walked the boardwalk into the sunset, it was nice getting to know him. I like his energy. When we got to the restaurant there was a 45minute wait for dinner, if you go there, get there early. We decided to sit outside and have a drink before dinner.
I stayed waiting outside watching the sunset while he went in to get us drinks. When he came back and he sat down, he asked me a random question; ‘would you give away 20% of your company to a marketing pro?’
I think: Is this a business meeting?
I responded: “that’s a loaded question. I don’t think it’s that simple”.
He wants me to ask him about his business…turns out 003 has a start up. Everybody has a start up. Politely, I ask him follow up questions about his start up. It sounds like he is trying to convince himself to go with the marketing agent. I tell him I think he already has his answer.
Earlier that day I had a particularly bad day at work. I explained the situation with him and complained. My advice: always complain on a first date. This moment of career vulnerability is all I shared to him and it wasn’t that deep. Just your classic, I should probably find a way to make more money…(oh hi Substack).
He said if my bad day situation happened to him, he probably wouldn’t have shown up for our date. Lolz. Good to know.
I said that he was a handsome distraction from reality. It was true.
All in all, it was a great dinner, he seems ambitious and eager. I like his energy. We wrapped up dinner with dessert, they had gluten free cheesecake! I was very happy. We walked along the boardwalk back to the ferry.
During our stroll, we ended up having the kid talk. I say that I don’t want them because my standards are too high, and I just turned 40. He says that he wants to have children. I tell him that ‘we’ probably won’t work in the long run. He is seven years younger than me…by the time he wants kids, he will probably leave me for someone younger. HA! Jumping to conclusions is my favourite form of cardio.
I continue to explain to him that if I were to have children, my expectations would be: I would be a stay at home mom for the first five years. I never want to worry about money. Ever. I think having children is the most expensive investment you will ever make, and I never want to be in a scarcity mindset.
All he hears is that I want to be a stay at home mom. He responds, “you know if I said that stay at home mom thing out loud I would sound like a misogynist”. I said, “did you hear the part about me not wanting children?” And he says, “Sounds like there is still a chance.”
Okay, bud.
As we get closer to the ferry he says he doesn’t want me ‘to drop him off’ because he feels like a princess. I tell him “I don’t need you to walk me home”, but he insists. Fine.
I know he is trying to find a moment to share a kiss but he has a pimple looking thing close to his lip and I don’t know if it’s contagious… I will be dodging that kiss at every turn.
As we walk, we started talking about dogs. I tell him that I want to get a chihuahua again, I miss my Chihuahua Bronx. (RIP BB) He says that he refuses to have a small dog. “ONLY big dogs, only german shepherds…”blah blah blah. I hate this attitude. This guy is never going to surprise me with a chihuahua at Christmas time.
Another misalignment.
As we got closer to my place I was ready to wrap this up. He tried to kiss me but I dodged it. When did we normalize kissing literal strangers? Even if there is chemistry, chill…let that tension build. You literally just took me out for dinner and nothing romantic happened. Wait for something romantic, goddammit!
003 asked for my WhatsApp. I should have said no because the texting that happened after this night was way too much. The next day I woke up to a good morning text. Not my favourite.
I once dated a guy for six months who sent me a good morning text with a picture of the sunrise every day and he still didn’t want to call me his girlfriend. Words mean nothing.
003 tried to make immediate plans with me but I was already busy. I appreciated the idea though…a hot yoga class! I love an activity date. When I told him I couldn’t go he was disappointed. I told him I already had plans with my friends. The next day he texts:
