This is the last date I will go on without a phone call first. Guys, dating is difficult, no wonder so many women have opted out. I made this 40 First Dates challenge so I could stick to my word and put the effort into getting to know someone. Except it’s hard getting to know someone if they can’t make it past the first date. Whomp. Whomp.
Did you read what happened on date 003? That one was a doozy, it almost turned me off of dating completely. The date I am writing about in this post happened a few days after ending it with 003. Maybe it was too soon.
We will call this guy 004. It’s sad that they don’t last long enough to get the Joe title. Hopefully after this, I get far enough with someone to call them a Joe…or maybe even a husband?! woah woah woah, let’s not get too excited now.
I went out with 004 because he looked so hot in his profile, like a model, and he wanted to take me somewhere fun. Perfect. We were supposed to meet at Park Rooftop, this place is literally on top of a parking garage.
He was late. I got there first, which is annoying because he was already off of work and I was out gallivanting with my friend and didn’t want to be late. I could literally still be picking out a flower arrangement with my friend. I walked around a completely packed bar looking for him.
Everyone here looked so young. Why do I feel old? Am I old? Do I look old? I am going on a date with a 33 year old…all of a sudden I feel old. No, snap out of it.
I was sitting by the entrance waiting for his arrival. My head was down looking at my phone, he says, “hellooo!!” with a high pitched Italian accent. It spooked me. OMG. Who is this guy? He looks homeless. I’m stunned. He didn’t have a beard in his photos, but here he is, with a straggly ass beard.
There was a couple sitting close to us and they knew I was unhappy with this whole scenario. I think he picked up on my vibe too, I’m not really good at hiding my feelings. I told him the bar is packed and we should go somewhere else. He says that he will go have a look around. Okay bud, sure. I sit back down. I text my friend, “I think I have been catfished!”
He comes back and tells me there is a spot and he asks me to follow him. I follow him with my head down, I can feel people looking at us. And of course, there is no spot. We just did the same lap I did earlier, but now in the company of my homeless friend. I don’t want to be here.
I tell him we should leave and go to the restaurant Honest Greens, at least I can eat.
We walk out of the bar and catch an elevator down. As we are waiting for the elevator and that same couple that clocked my disappointment earlier, stands next to us to wait for the elevator. I say, “waiting for the elevator?” So awkward Sinéad.
Every second felt like an eternity.
When we get into the tiny elevator he asks me, “how long have you been in Lisbon?” Can we not do this now? We don’t need to get to know each other as we are sandwiched between another couple. Everything feels awkward. Let’s all collectively not talk right now. Thanks.
We exit the elevator and make our way to Honest Greens and in my head I was like, I don’t want people to see me. Lisbon is so small. I feel bad about thinking this way but I was not attracted to this guy. He could tell. He said that his beard was temporary and that he was doing it for an acting role. He said when we sit down to eat he can show me the photos from the shoot.
That made sense to me because he had model looks on his profile. He is very photogenic. As we were walking to the restaurant we passed by a fast food hamburger joint and an Italian guy ran out and screamed at 004.
Of course he knows people!!
Of course we are being seen right now!!
He walks towards them but I continue walking to the restaurant. I take about twenty steps and he runs up behind me and says that those are his work friends. Lisbon is small. We continue to walk as he tells me all about his work life.
There were plenty of moments when I thought, should I just bail? I have never left in the middle of a date. Maybe this is my time. Maybe this is the moment. I have a feeling that if we go through with this, if I actually sit down and eat with this man then I will also be seen by people I know. Spoiler, I was:
I feel baaaddd about being so judgemental. Am I really judging this guy based on this 10 minute encounter? Yes I am. I still had the decency to sit down and have a meal with him. Is that decency though? Should I have said something by this point? You can let me know in the comments below. In a situation like this, is it better just to leave or actually take the time to get to know someone?
I think this is the end of dating apps for me.
I ordered something cheap from the appetizer menu because he offered to pay. I ordered this new item, like almond flour pancakes, but when I got them they were more savoury with a hint of curry, this wasn’t what I was expecting. I don’t know what I was expecting. Everything that is happening right now, I did not expect. I ask to replace the curry pancakes with something else.
Maybe I can replace my date with someone else(?) while you’re at it.
I asked him to show me his modeling photos. He does. He IS so photogenic! He really is handsome under that scraggly beard. He is currently playing a role as a back up actor in a movie based in the 70’s. Okaaayyy, so that explains the beard.
He tells me that he is going to shave it in a few days and we should plan another date for then. I already know there won’t be another date. It’s just not a vibe for me. All in all we had a nice chat but I was not in the headspace for that date. I am tired of meeting up with strangers.
I am tired of them thinking that since they bought me dinner there needs to be some kind of kiss. I am tired of not having chemistry. I am tired of asking questions like I am some kind of psychologist. This was never the way we were supposed to meet people.
I messaged 004 after our date and thanked him. I told him that I don’t think we are aligned. He said a message like that should be said face to face. I said he just wants me to see him without a beard.